Come gather 'round knights
Wherever you roam
And admit that corruption
Around you has grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.
Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again
And don't give up too soon
For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no doubt who
That it's namin'.
For the winner now
Will be later to lose
For the times they are a-changin'.
Come knights and ladies
Please heed the call
Don't stand in the doorway
Don't block up the hall
For he that stands still
Will be he who has stalled
There's a battle outside
And it is ragin'.
It'll soon shake your windows
And rattle your walls
For the times they are a-changin'.
Come brothers and sisters
Throughout the world
And don't turn away
you must understand
Your leaders and elders
Have failed you and him
Their old road is rapidly agin'.
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.
The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be last
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is
Rapidly fadin'.
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
THE TIMES THEY ARE A-CHANGING
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
IT'S CARNIVAL IN VENICE ON MARDI GRAS!
Touring Venice on a slightly overcast afternoon, particularly when the sun begins to set, could make an artist out of an ordinary mortal to admire its beauty and splendor as its golden reflection blends with its landscape and surroundings on the horizon. Although it could have long been a sentiment of déjà-vu, I still couldn't help but be carried away in awe by the mysterious glow of its magical sights and the sounds of laughter of the crowd on that special occasion. The stroll along the narrow alleys and around the canals was a highly enriching cultural experience. The old buildings must have undergone series of renovations, but they still keep their original architectural features throughout the centuries. The turnout this year must have doubled and there was hardly room to move comfortably or take pictures freely. What's even worst was when we reached the main bridge leading to the train station on our way back. Apparently, the crowd could have been at a standstill for a long while because I overheard from somebody in passing that it took him an hour to cross such a short bridge! The only alternative I saw was to swim across the canal if it were humanly possible to get through to the quay without getting hurt or being trampled! It's too scary for the first time to see how the local police force was called in to direct traffic in and out of the narrow alleys. There was certainly no way for safety whatsoever in case a panic breaks out. Finally, I was relieved when the policemen arrived to divert us to a private alley that leads to the train terminals. On the other hand, getting into an overcrowded train could be more chaotic than in a Tokyo subway during rush hours. It could also be a maddening experience unless one enjoys being a masochist of getting the thrill being squeezed or groped by perfect strangers. Or, it could even turn into a nightmare if he ever comes face to face with a grinning and foul-smelling monster that wouldn't hesitate to make a break the minute he has the opportunity! Comparing the pros and the cons of getting the kick out of such a pandemonium, I wonder if it was really worthwhile to travel that far and go through a wild goose chase in order to satisfy an inner urge to make an once-in-a-lifetime dream come true, regardless how crazy it could be!
We left Italy for Hungary early Monday morning under a pouring rain. It was already snowing heavily before we reached the Austrian border. Surprisingly, we found driving in a blizzard very difficult and dangerous. Without any previous experience and the necessary equipment on hand under such a condition, we nearly panicked when our car got stuck on the roadside and nobody cared to stop to bail us out. We tried all the tricks to free the car, but we seemed to be stuck for good. As a last ditch, we cleared with our hands and feet all the snow that had accumulated and put the car carpets under the front tires. What a relief when we finally managed to move the car! But some 20 miles further, however, our car skidded across the icy road. I drove moderately fast inside the tunnel and the car went out of control at the exit that I thought it would roll over. Fortunately, there wasn't much traffic and I succeeded to maneuver and stop it a few inches before it hit the guardrail at the edge of a precipice! I didn't know how much snow had fallen that day but I already thought of going back to Brussels directly if it didn't stop snowing. During the slow drive, I decided to continue because I supposed the road condition everywhere in Central Europe was the same. After all these commotions we made it to the Hungarian border before dark. There wasn't fresh snow on the road, but Budapest was about 200 miles from the border and somehow it was too late to proceed directly. So, we spent the night in a pension in Vesprem. We originally planned to stay in Budapest for a day or two to sightsee and shop around. But with a gray and freezing weather, it wasn't the best time to visit the city. It must have taken us more than an hour to get across the traffic lights on the main thoroughfares. I had to park briefly in front of a bank while Sara and Sophie rushed inside to change money. We searched for pensions in the suburbs, but in vain. I suppose they must have closed shop for the season. Much to our regret, we just had to leave Budapest after circling it for half a day, but planned to come back when the weather would be warmer and brighter.
It was like a homecoming when we got to Prague the next day. We seemed to have gotten lost our way again and went around the city for an hour searching for the pension where we last stayed. After a long tiring drive and continuous bickering on wrong directions, we had to contend ourselves with a two-night accommodation in a university residence where we stayed during our first visit in 1994. As the city transportation is cheap and frequent, we decided to leave the car behind. We were able to get to the places we wanted to see and the souvenirs to buy in one day. There wasn't the usual crowd on the famous Charles Bridge at this time of the year, but there were a considerable number of tourists in the old town. We hope to stay longer next time to be able to see other sights and shop at ease. Visiting three cities and driving across eight European countries in seven days proved to be so exhausting that a week wouldn't suffice to get a complete rest and be back to normal.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
IT'S TIME FOR A JOKE!
ALL BLUE
"I think I have a problem, Doc," says a patient. "One of my balls has turned blue."
The doctor examines the man briefly and concludes that the patient will die if he doesn't have his testicle removed.
"Are you crazy?!" bursts the patient. "How could I let you do such a thing to me!"
"You want to die?" asks the doctor rhetorically, at which point the patient has to agree to have his testicle removed.
Two weeks after the operation, the patient comes back. "Doc, I don't know how to say this, but the other ball has turned blue, too."
Again, the doctor tells him that if he wants to live, his other testicle must be cut off, too. Again, the man is very reluctant to the idea.
"Hey, you want to die?" asks the doctor, and the patient has to agree with the operation. After two weeks of being testicle-less, the patient returns to the doctor and says, "I think something is very wrong with me. My penis is now completely blue."
After briefly examining the patient, the doctor gives him the bad news: If he wants to live, his penis has to go. Of course, the patient does not want to hear about it.
"You want to die?" asks the doctor.
"But...how do I pee?"
"We'll install a plastic pipe, and there will be no problem." So the patient has his penis removed, and, a while after the operation, the unfortunate man enters the doctor's office again. He is very angry.
"Doctor, the plastic pipe turned blue!"
"What?"
"Can you tell me what the hell is happening??"
The doctor examines the patient more carefully and says, "Hmmm, I don't know. Could it be the jeans?"
HORRIBLE DEATHS
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so St. Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"
The first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell-but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge, and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."
"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.
The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.
"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."
Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.
The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.
"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."
APPLES AND ORANGES
A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl was frantic.
Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for, dear?" Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people were passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.
"Mmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma. "I think I'll have some myself," she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. "But you're so old... how do you do it?"
Grandma replied, "Oh, it's quite easy, sonny... I just remove my dentures and suck 'em dry!"
TWO OLD PENSIONERS
Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane by going back to the place where they first met.
Sitting at a café, the little old man says, "Remember the first time I met you over 50 years ago? We left this cafe, went round the corner behind the gas works, and I gave you one from behind."
"Why, yes, I remember it well, dear," replies the little old lady with a grin.
"Well, for old time's sake, let's go there again. and I'll give you one from behind."
The two pensioners pay their bill and leave the cafe. A young man sitting next to them has overheard the conversation and smiles to himself, thinking it would be quite amusing to see two old pensioners at it. He gets up and follows them. Sure enough, he sees the two pensioners near the gas works. The little old lady pulls off her knickers and lifts up her dress.
The old man pulls down his pants and grabs the lady's hips, and the little old lady reaches for the fence. Well, what follows is 40 minutes of the most athletic sex the man has ever seen. The little old man is banging away at the little old woman at a pace that can only be described as phenomenal. Limbs are flying everywhere, the movement is a blur, and they do not stop for a single second. Finally, they collapse and don't move for an hour.
Well, the man is stunned. Never in his life has he ever seen anything that equates to this -- not in the movies, not from his friends, not from his own experiences.
Reflecting on what he has just seen, he says to himself, "I have to know his secret. If only I could shag like that now, let alone in 50 years' time!"
The two old pensioners have by this time recovered and dressed themselves. Plucking up courage, the man approaches the pensioner.
He says, "Sir, in all my life I have never seen anybody shag like that, particularly at your age. What's your secret? Could you shag like that 50 years ago?"
The pensioner replies, "Son, 50 years ago, that fucking fence wasn't electrified."
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